Estimated time of arrival 9.30 a.m...
Sunday, May 30, 2021
Saturday, May 29, 2021
As we enter the twentieth month...
I find covid's attention seeking pandemic based twattery even more annoying than months ten to nineteen...
Thursday, May 27, 2021
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Tuesday, May 25, 2021
Sunday, May 23, 2021
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeeees! THAT was a goal! (or so i heard)
in november 2007
the world was a very similar place
vaguely spherical and with a lot of knobs on it
in not at all sunny london
i had just staggered off a plane from tropical venezuela
and copped that familiar juddering freezing feeling which arrives as you go up the walkway from the plane
which blighty almost never fails to provide
upon being safely ensconced above the lavatorial brazos pub in brixton
in the company of my beloved C
she agreed to accompany me to a posh bit of town
to see a fitba game
it was a friendly match between straya mate and naughty nigeria
as we crossed the mean tubes of london
to the badlands of fulham
I, shivering in giallo
still high from voyage
blathered at her with stories of venezlandia
and spouted my newly improved shit spanish
craven cottage was a delight
still retaining old skool stands etc
and the socceroos won 1-0
against those dastardly nigerians
sadly we missed the goal
as we were quaffing our overpriced beers on the stairs
because for some daft reason
they didnt let you drink in the stands
apparently the goal was a scorcher
a 25 metre thunderbastard from david carney
but we only heard the muffled roar
of the (presumably) drunken australian backpackers
from the bowels of the stand
but it was all good
despite the climatic/horological befuddlement
i got to witness my national team play
and win!
(against a team that wasnt shit)
and i was back in baby's arms...
briefly
before it was time for the next bus/train/plane
...
Friday, May 21, 2021
Wednesday, May 19, 2021
Monday, May 17, 2021
Sunday, May 16, 2021
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Monday, May 10, 2021
Sunday, May 09, 2021
this afternoons entertainment/lesson - humming makes you look sexy
it feels so good to have a petticoat on
Thursday, May 06, 2021
Tuesday, May 04, 2021
Friday, April 30, 2021
Thursday, April 29, 2021
Tuesday, April 27, 2021
spot the twat no.10 - morrissey - the great whiny ballbag
mr whiny ballbag no, not at all, no way, never playing up to far right fuckers by twatting about with the british flag in 1992.
The voice of one of the greatest bands in history, the smiths, morrissey is a true wizard at lyrics. unfortunately the voice of the outcast has proven to be the voice of the not so closeted bigot.
In amongst many caustically witty remarks regarding other musicians, royals and other famous people and plenty of just-about- quasi - if you contort yourself at a 135 degree angle/put on your Winner most charible interpretation slouch hat, rationisable comments about carnivores, religion, immigration and politics, morrissey has let fly some humdingers that show his inner fuckwitted bigot.
-On animal cruelty in China: "You can't help but feel that the Chinese people are a sub-species."
-On sexual harrassment victims: “If everything went well, and if it had given them a great career, they would not talk about it.”
-On Kevin Spacey: “As far as I know, he was in a bedroom with a 14-year-old. Kevin Spacey was 26, boy 14... When you are in somebody’s bedroom, you have to be aware of where that can lead to. That’s why it does not sound very credible to me. It seems to me that Spacey has been attacked unnecessarily.”
-On immigration: "England is a memory now. The gates are flooded and anybody can have access to England and join in.”
- On race in music: Morrissey gave an interview to Melody Maker in which he claimed that a “black pop conspiracy” was keeping his band down
Sunday, April 25, 2021
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