Shigir pop ídolo

The shigir pop idolo is the oldest known bit of stick sculpture in the woooooorld, made during the mesohorny period, shortly after the end of the last installment of the childrens animated film series, daffy ducks ice age of impure loving. (DDIAIL)

The wood it was carved from is approximately 11,500 years old.  The main fragments used to reconstitute the sculpture reach 2.8 m (2542 nanohoofs) but reconstruction suggests that the original height of the statue was 5.3 m.(12.3 mastodon giblets)

it was found buried (with a stash of 9570s bce porn) near the ural mountains in present day ra ra russsssssssssssssssssia.

It is unknown whether stretched scrotum faced putain has ever posed semi nude atop it, but history and probability suggest it is inevitable.

coolest of all, (eeee)scholars noted that the Idol's groovacious patterns are similar to that of the oldest known monumental stone ruins, at fucking gobleki tepe in turkey!

piss the bed

 

cette plante s'appelle,,,

piss(e)en lit

Pisser, en, lit. On appelle la plante pissenlit, parce que l'eau dans laquelle on en fait bouillir les feuilles est diurétique.

c'est bien drole hein?

bbc pidgin is da bomba

 https://www.bbc.com/pidgin

a pior pizza de todos os tempos!

a pior pizza do mundo foi um lixo que eu comi em foz do iguacu, brasil

estávamos lá (sem visto! clandestinos!) em uma viagem de um dia saindo da argentina para ver as cataratas do outro lado

embora estivéssemos com um orçamento apertado porque éramos mochileiros

e foi uma oferta dois por um, por quarenta e cinco reais (mais ou menos)

mas ainda não valeu a pena!

lembre-se que eu morava na Itália na época, então eu conhecia uma boa pizza

depois de comer o primeiro, sem prazer

era hora de pegar o ônibus de volta para a fronteira

clandestinos! gah!

então eu dei para um sem-teto

que não entendeu uma palavra que eu disse

(mas eu ainda me sentia um pouco culpado, porque era tão ruim)

(obrigado ao google tradutor)

che cazzo ha luigi?

norge i et nøtteskall

et spektakulært landskap som virkelig er verdt det! 🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

parole, parole, parole.. soltanto parole

homunculus

avuncular

zeitgeist

reliquary

orrery

legally george

 

it was only after being lost in the wilds of alton towers for 17 harrowing hours

did george finally admit he wasnt a natural blonde...

i think i dropped something a few cubits back...

not terribly long ago in this quarantine existence

at least in the last trimestre or so

i was cruising the mean streets of democratically elected peoples representative butte

in my zupped up white yellow ford cambria with flames up the side

looking slick

and feeling slicklier

i must have felt a bit peckish 

so i got stuck into something zesty

and

as you do when eating behind the wheel

it was with more enthusiasm than efficacy

and i must have dropped some piquant old lunch during the scarfing

(and boy does it pique)

and now every time i slide into the saddle

duchi of azzardo style

it wafts back  to remind me

just how flavoursome it was...

i really should quit stopping and smelling the scorreggi

Sláinte!

it is the humour...

 

five alive!

bras etcetera

ooft!

sick!

stop saying labyrinthine

beansy!

get over it!

it has pulled the shoes out from under my hat

its both amazing and great

put.. the ritter sport.. back

grazie and a chomp

alienos P.K, o totalmente borrachos?

antes de ir a la maravillosa hindustania

yo vi muchas documentales y pelis sobre el pais

sobre su historia (que es larghisima!)

las religiones del lugar (que son muchas)

la politica (que se tostaria la cabeza y es muy deprimente)

y mas

y mi amiga super genial shradha 

que es una desi pura

me recomendio muchas

y muchas con el grande star aamir khan

una de las que vi se llama pk

como el chicle

y apparentmente pk significa achispado

bueno

en pk

nuestra protaginista es un alieno

y el llega a la tierra en una enorme astronave

pero lo raro es que llega en la parte del a tierra equivocado!

se llega en india!!!

shock!

asombro!

y sobretodo...

etc! 

yo crei que todos los astronaves llegaran en gringolandia!!!

o en la mitad de nada donde hubo solo un gring-cretino boracho

o directemente encima de la casa blanca

deberia de haber estado un error cataclisimica

como es possible que una civilizacion tan avanzada

no tuvieron un tipo de gps 

si llegan desde otra galaxia!

obviamente era una falta tecnica enorme

quizas tuvo plazo una explosion desmesurada en el ovni

y estes alienos se perdieron la ruta

o puedeser que tomaban demasiado de aguardiente espacial!

si no

como se puede explicar este situacion geografica ridicula?!!

porque sabemos que TOOODDDOOOOS las astronaves saben dirigirse 

directemente a donde se debe

a fucking gringolandia

por supuesto!

le premier jour a tanger... que bien!

sur mon premier jour a la splendide ville de tanger, je suis sorti de chez mon genial ami ismail pour chercher de la bouffe

je n'avais du tout confiance de ma abilite en francais

mais j'etais la pour la practiquer

donc, depit mes peurs il etait temps de la faire!

alors je suis sorti dans la rue principale chez lui dans le quartier de maison de tunisie

je suis entre timidement dans un cafe, et j'ai demande

vous parlez francais? non

do you speak english? no

gah! quoi faire?

apres quelque moments de silence confus je me suis echappe avec honte!

alors, je suis marche a la long de la rue et apres une respiration profonde

je suis entre dans un boulangerie

vous parlez francas? non

do you speak speak english? no

deux fois gah! putain!

apres moins moments de silence confus que la premier fois, je me suis echape avec plus honte encore!

alors avec ma confiance dechiree

je suis continue sur la rue

enfin, je suis entre dans un kiosk

j'ai adresse le proprietaire

parlez vous francais? non

do you speak english? no

gah! quel trauma!

donc nous etions la, nous deux dans le meme malaise qu'avant

enfin le type m'a dit

hablas espanol?

despues de unos segundos y palabras confundidos para que mi cerebro cambie marcha

aja!

genial!

ohhh que felicidad mis panas!

que alegria!

asi me explico en muy bien espanol

que, historicamente, la costa norte era colonizado por los espanoles

y aun hay dos pueblos espanoles no tan lejanos

y siendo tan proximo a espana, 17 kms

(que se puede escuchar al radio espanol como me mostro ismail)

asi, por mucha gente alla,  el idioma segundo era el espanol!

y me quede alli por un rato hablanda en espanol 

con una sonrisa enorme

con este senor que me contaba su vida 

como vivio por anos en espana y cuanto le encanta el idioma

como su sobrino aun vive en madrid 

etc etc

y me quede super bien

unos minutos antes mi confianza (y no solo aquella linguistica) era en pedacitos

y ahora charlaba con este senor simpatico 

que me complimento por mi espanol barbaro!

y me senti de nuevo el campeon de las lenguas

y que iba a perfeccionar el frances con una facilidad obscena

it's official, it's a disaster state!

so the piggies are out in force and working for the ...

العمىالعمىالعمى!

القرف المقدس! هذا كثير من الحب مثل semtex!

2016 austrian word of the year! (your fave austrian word of the year)

"Bundespräsidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung" was chosen as Austria's Word of the Year 2016 by academics. Roughly translated to “Federal-President-runoff-vote-repeat-postponement”, the word gained recognition during the lengthy presidential election in 2016.

rolls right off the zunge innit?

sundaland til i die, glu glu glu...

The tv series, sundaland til i die highlights the unfailing passion the Sundaland residents had for their beloved football club, taking viewers through the highs and lows of SUFC's 12000BCE- 11999BCE season in the Sinking Feeling Inc. Continental Championship following its relegation the previous year from the prestigious Continental LiGah.

The Continental LiGah was eventually tortuously formed (football politics hey?) as a breakaway league following the achingly glacial demise of the pan-pan-pangea league in 175000000BCE due to irreconcilable subduction.  With the early favourites being atlantis afc, but they were disqualified after an epochal series of no shows. nevertheless their marketing department claims to this day that they were 'simply ahead of the tide'.

For more than 2.5 million years, the rabid fans of sundaland ufc obsessively followed their team during its vicissitudes on the higher shores of intercontinental competition.

With their comedy accents and undying love for their team of fans across the ancient landmass, their team fought mightily against such worthy opponents as beringia fc, doggerland fc and their perennially rubbish neighbours, sahul wtfc. until they got that sinking feeling...

我在2018年去了那里！

慕田峪  is a section of 中国的长城 located in 怀柔 District within the city limits of 北京  70 kilometers northeast of the of the city centre. 

super hans, font of wisdom

Mots pressés, mots sensés, mots qui disent la vérité...

shibboleth

juggernaut

behemoth

leviathon