i fart in your general direction...

now go away or i will taunt you a second time...

south park the 25th annif concert...

they took our jobs!

as a rule:

musicals shit me

operas shit me

movies with musical numbers (even if they 'move the plot along') shit me

even recorded performances by kick arse bands shit me

But they don't shit me one tiny eentzy weentzy miniscule

Macroscopic nanoseismic pan-insignificant zoophytic

Neo-nonexistent bit compared to the way...

I shit me!

(thanks to humphrey b flaubert)

but THIS does not shit me.

Evel Shitnievel

if any misty eyed sentimental old carnt ever tries to tell you that the 1970s were cool

just show them this vid

(or a pic of Slade)

and watch them shut up for all eternity

the worlds busiest hairport...

 

ever been to Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport?

its like a huge busy shopping centre carpark

full of cars buzzing about

but with big beastie planes!

its fucking huuuuuuge!

going back to sabah, gonna have myself a time...

 

a long time ago 

on a timeline far away

in fact thirty years ago

a slightly terrified 

young buffoon had a (to him) unexpected stop over

in kota kinabalu, malaysia

on his way to tokyo

for his first solo international trip

he gawped at beautiful beach/jungle combo from his hublot

as the plane descended along the coast

shortly after

during the couple of hours hanging around the international lounge

he saw a beautiful multiracial couple

him tanned and tall bule with flowing blonde hair

her gracious slim malay with long glossy dark hair

as he somewhat jealously admired the glamorous couple

he decided that he would come back to this exotic tropical land one day

for his honeymoon

!!!

now three decades later

he is finally set to return

(alas without the presumed blushing bride on his arm

as that timeline hit a particularly jagged reef

on the tempestuous seas of the intervening years)

yet going back he is yoda

la premiere foto d'un homme?

dans 1838 a paris

un mec qui se apellait louis daguerre 

a pris le premiere photo de un etre humain 

il etait un passant qui se faisait cirer ses chaussures

et pourquoi?

'car il est resté suffisamment immobile pour figurer sur cette image

car le long temps de pose nécessaire à la photo (le procédé du daguerréotype nécessite un temps de pose d’une durée de 7 à 20 minutes)

n’a pas permis d’enregistrer l’animation qui régnait d’ordinaire sur le boulevard.'

En 1839, Samuel Morse, l’inventeur du télégraphe, à qui Louis Daguerre a montré la photo, écrit :

“Les objets en mouvement ne s’impressionnent pas. Le boulevard, si constamment rempli d’une cohue mouvante de piétons et de voitures, était parfaitement désert, à l’exception d’un individu qui était en train de faire cirer ses bottes. Bien entendu, ses pieds durent rester immobiles pendant un moment, l’un posé sur la boîte du cireur, l’autre sur le sol. En conséquence, ses bottes et ses jambes ont été bien définies, mais il n’a ni corps ni tête, car ceux-ci étaient en mouvement.”

bien fait louis!

un ne peut pas imaginer combien il aurait ete complique faire un photobomb a la epoque!

no boost in de oost

before world war twee

the jewel in the dutch colonial crown was indonesia

or Nederlands-Indië

but

with the expansion of the japanese empire

the dutch got kicked out of those spicily bountiful isles

but like many eurobastard empires

they didnt get de hint

that time was up for their colonial plundering/murdering adventures

so after the end of the war in the pacific

and the nihon jin were sent home

those naughty nederlanders 

were once again hanging about where they werent wanted

and tying to reclaim their lost prize

but the orang indonesia werent having it

and wanted their independensi!

wat zal het zijn?!?

(an) new worst album... ever?

 

fucking waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

pendant qu'on parle de (neo) colonialisme...

How France Condemned Haiti, Guinea and Other African Countries To Poverty

ou

encore une autre histoire de cupidité et de cruauté française dans le monde (post) colonial

(Last) Chhello Show

little samay lives in a poor rural village in gujarat

although his family belongs to a relatively important caste

his father fucked up and is reduced to being a chai walla at the local (rarely frequented) train station

and terrible news looms

as they learn that there will soon be only express trains that wont stop at the local station

samay discovers the local cinema

he falls in love

he starts skipping school

and sneaking inside

but he gets caught by the owner

kicked out and banned from the premises

later as he sadly loiters outside the cinema

he befriends the projectionist

who lets him watch the movies from his booth

in exchange for his delicious lunch that his mum prepares

samay is in (cinema) paradiso!

but the cinema is getting changed to digital

and his buddy is out of a job!

little samay nicks old films and bits and pieces of equipment

from the warehouse where they are stored

and makes his own mini cinema with his mates

eventually he goes on to make his own films with his mates

with their rickety nicked parts

will he go on to cinematic greatness as a director?

or will his dreams go the way of countless others without financial means?

if cinema paradiso floated your barca

get your gujurati gear going

and check out this slice of loveliness...

i find your lack of faith disturbing, you slags!

 

infrastructure maintenance is bad for humanity mmkay?

Dead Man Comes Alive After Ambulance Hits Pothole!

y se dice que en la edad media los ricos eran decadentes...

las chichis al horno señor?

 

(tambien el neo) colonialismo es asqueroso

(y si tio sam, se habla de ti)

que grandisimos hijos de puta!

y aun la lucha continua

fuerza el pueblo guate y arevalo...

is everybody hapi?

a couple of hapi chappies sorting out the fertility of the nile valley

hap hap hap hapi!

We're having a party

and everyone's welcome

And if you've got no gods

I'm sure we'll invent some...

 Well are you happy?

maria had a little lambish

a troubled youngish couple live on a farm in spectacular rural iceland

they raise some funky sheep

something spooky kills their beloved pet dog

alfonsidottir

a new lamb is born

it is not shown but there is something very odd about it

the couple are beside themselves with joy

and the odd new lamb lives with them in the house

eventually we see that the new lamb has a human(ish) body!

hvað í andskotanum!?

the mother ewe hangs around bleating at its child through the window

anyone for chops?

the brother in law comes to skive at theirs for a while

and 

like others that encounter the new addition to the family

he is appalled/shocked/has his flabber gasted

(when not trying to shag his sister in law)

the situation just gets darker

its not gold in them thar hills

its something bigger, badder, hornier and uncannier

and things are about to get messy...

Frontera Verde

las amazonas son enormes

de hecho

son mas grande que enormes

son enorchingatumadremes

nunca he estado en las amazonas

pero he estado cercano un par de veces

asi soy experto!

este serie colombiano se occure nel rincon amazone del pais

donde se encuentran colombia, brasil y peru

en un mundo mixta de indigenas y mestizos

y espanol, portugues y varios idiomas nativos

hay la misterio de una matanza de mujeres indiginas

y llega una agente de policia de bogota 

para investigar el caso

ella se encuentra la magia y espiritualidad del inframundo nativa

su lucha por preservar su universo tan distincto

los madereros violentos

la trafica de drogas

la corrupicion official

y algunos secretos de su pasado!

bacano!

le otto montagne

le otto montangne e quasi un capolavoro

una storia di due amici nelle alpi

(senza l'erotismo di brokeback mountain)

((e non ce niente di sbagliato in quello))

ci sono i due protaganisti

(uno pare che abbia le tendenze nichiliste)

che sono amici da giovani

poi le loro vite si divergono

uno, un vero montagnard

si rimane nelle sue amate alpi

mentre l'altro si torna a vivere in citta

anni dopo come adulte

le loro vite si intrecciano di nuovo

dopo il morto dell padre del secondo

e recostruirano una baracca alto nelle montagne

ci sono storie di amicizia

di familia

di amore sentimentale

ce il grande alessandro borghi

ma il vero star e il paesaggio mozzafiato

gli umani sono esseri temporanei

le montagne ci sono per sempre...

rokuen are rude

 

if you are so lucky as to go to japan

you must go to

the ancient capital of nara

just outside

the ancient capital of kyoto

the temples are magnificent

to stumble about and admire

in the serene beautifully curated gardens

and if you are a sucker tourist

you can by some biscuity rokuen food

from the kindly looking elders with their stands

to feed to the masses of sweet looking rokuen that hang about 

waiting for suckers to feed them

this particular sucker was all in

handed over his yen

and proceeded to be mugged

by those (ridiculously aggressive) sweet looking rokuen

and left dazed and shaken

with scratches and bite marks all over

クソ野郎ども！

obelix lo storico

vedete?

aveva ragione obelix

e voi credevate che obelix fosse un rimbambito...

eeee sono ancora pazzi

due milleni dopo...