et ouais je suis revenu

et c'etait genial

les gens tres sympas

la cuisine delicieuse

la nature spectaculaire

les batiments historiques

et ceux encores plus vieux

et on ne parle pas des mots turcs avec les racines francaises

vive la turquie!

 

things are getting..

 

only a few days now

everybody that has to be notified

has been notified

almost everything has been turned upside down

hope i can still find that thang

that thang i will need in week 3

it looks like that other puffa puffa wont make it

so im stuck with the big puffa puffa

rigoberto has his cypher

and his activation code is imminent

don mucho is locked in for the showdown in bisanzio

doña no menos is all go for telmesso

and el hombre del mar is set for the double date in bisanzio and tarso

the linea stella bianca know the score

im hoping for an ocean view

and comfy accomodation at the first port of call

in the exotic east of middle earth

(though not at all east from this paddle pop stand) 

to sleep off the ludes and laudanum

fingers crossed michifu knows the trapano

after all

hes an experienced mano del rodeo these day

and i cant see the fucking hour!

Prewenghi

another tasty slice of alice lowe

sometimes patchy but always entertainingly odd and slightly scary

if you like the work of julia davis

you will most likely enjoy alices work

whats it all about?

an unborn baby instructing her mother to kill?

ohhh yeahhh!

dove la gente ce...

queste sono le venti citta piu grandi del mondo

e sono bestie!

e sono davvero enormi

le statistiche-

la maggiore parte sono in asia

quattordici su venti

quattro sono in china

e tre sono in india

quattro sono in america

una in europa

una in africa

ne ho visitato nove
incluso le tre piu grandi

niente male ehi?

le osservazioni-

tokio e una marea di modernismo e le luci LED

giacarta si offre il traffico piu pazzo immaginabile

nuova delhi vince per la follia per il cricket e degli odori intriganti

shanghai e gia il futuro, oggi giorno

cairo si distingue per un panorama di ultimi piani incomputi (per ragioni fiscali)

citta del messico che si survola per due eternita prima di atterrare

bangkok e dove di piu si pesano l'umidita e il calore (osh!)

pechino e vivace, storica ed imperiale

buenos aires e una miscela avvenente di europa del sud e sudamerica

e tu?

quante ne hai visitato?

risposte su una cartalina virtuale...

heres where the story (quase) begins

 

 "Set to an upbeat, jangly guitar-pop backdrop, Harriet Wheeler enchants listeners with her brisk, crystalline vocals and a crisp melodic hook. The song’s feel is evocative of a breezy, moderately cool yet still lovely autumn afternoon" - popmatters

fucking swoon!

Men(talists)

mr garland has done it again

shit bag husband dies/commits suicide

traumatised wife books an old country house to get away and get her head together

the owner is odd

the priest is odd

the school kid is odd

all the people in the pub are odd

everybody is fucking odd

chuck in some old skool folk biz

in the form of the green man and sheila na gig

and everthing goes absolutely bat shit bonkers

Englisch, die am wenigsten germanische ...

... und zugleich die am meisten germanische Sprache

wunderbar, Arschlöcher!

you can all just kiss off into the air...

behind my back i can see them stare...

i hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record...

nasty nattō?

nattō is a japanese dish made from soy beans

the beans are fermented in bacteria

and it tastes rottenly like it too

it absolutely reeks

and it has the consistency of slime

(with mushy bits in it)

it is often used to test the tastebud mettle of gaijins

but its apparently marvellously good for you

(ever notice how many of the oldest people in the world are japanese?)

Yūkiwodashite!

unifon for all (american english speakers)

unifon was proposed as an alternative for the roman alphabet for english in the 1950s.

it contains 40 glyphs, intended to represent the 40 "most important sounds" of the English language.

needles to say ... it wasnt adopted.

La Lazio licenzia il falconiere Juan Bernabè dopo il video dell'intervento al pene

"Siamo allibiti, suo comportamento grave"

La Lazio ha detto - 

"La SS Lazio, allibita nel vedere le immagini fotografiche e in video del signor Juan Bernabè e nel leggere le dichiarazioni che le hanno accompagnate, comunica di avere interrotto, con effetto immediato, ogni rapporto con costui, attesa la gravità del suo comportamento".

La società di Claudio Lotito prosegue spiegando di rendersi conto "del dolore, peraltro condiviso, che ai tifosi provocherà la perdita dell'aquila nelle prossime gare casalinghe, ma ritiene che non è possibile essere associati, tutti, per di più con il simbolo storico dell'aquila, a un soggetto che, con la sua iniziativa, ha reso inammissibile la prosecuzione del rapporto".

Il cretino ha detto - 

 "Ho fatto l'intervento per aumentare le mie prestazioni sessuali perché sono molto attivo; ho bisogno di eiaculare ogni volta che ho tempo libero".

Quindi ha aggiunto: "Un intervento meraviglioso, l'ho fatto per essere prestante come quando ero giovane. La mia erezione è naturale, ma con questo dispositivo premo un pulsante che mi permette di poter controllare perfettamente sia l'erezione che la tempistica". 

Pero si nota -

Tre anni fa circa fece discutere per il saluto romano di una partita di campionato.  La Lazio lo sospese per quattro mesi, poi Bernabé - che rivendicò di stimare Mussolini perché "ha fatto grandi cose per l'Italia" - tornò regolarmente al suo posto. 

quindi, fare il saluto fascista non e bastata per licenziarlo, che schifo assoluto! 

La Domus Aurea, la casa di nerone

che figata!

ed era solo riscoperta nel 15esimo secolo quando un giovane si e caduto in una fessura...

bunlar ezberlemek istediğim soru kelimeleri

 

ama yapmayacağım

bleugh, ptui!

por desgracia tampoco en las aguas chilenas los venezolanos estan los bienvenidos

menos aun a las ballenas....

cracking flick gromit

the latest grimace and vomit is fab

its wholesome family fun

with claymation goodness

and the return of feathers mcgraw

da da daaaaah!

get it around you!

its vengeance most fowl!

Zer egin zuen franco Espainiako hizkuntzen alde?

Non sabía nada diso

ara sabem tots!

Retour vers la pipe

voyons si vous, salauds, pouvez faire 90...

 

Beau Is Having A Mare

beaus existence is fucking bleak

(if it truly is his existence)

the streets around his flat are full of pschopaths

and he needs to visit his bonkers moribund mother in his far off home town

after losing his belongings

and having his flat trashed

he misses his flight

so he sets off on the trippiest and most traumatic nightmare road trip imaginable

fucking brrr...

la rana palabrota

 

en sudamerica hay una rana con un nombre muy particular; Allobates niputidea

estoy esperando el descubrimiento del largato laconchadesuputamadre....

Vale Mr Lynch

 

Mr Lynch made some of the most interesting/baffling moving images of all time.

from the sustained two score oddity of twin peaks

the sexy strangeness of blue velvet

the grooviest of fun times of wild at heart

the straightest of stories of the straight story

the outstanding head fuckery of lost highway

the buzzing nightmare of eraserhead

the thought provoking freak out of the elephant man

to the amnesiac hollywood bizarro world of mullholland drive

watching his work in the eighties and ninetees was an education indeed

how about chevy?

 

chevy chase is a town in maryland, usa

BUT...

the actor was given his nickname from a medieval english ballad

"I didn't want to do this, but I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pull rank on you. I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses."

who ate all the pies?

 or more precisely who is going eat the last one in nuttingham?

kneecap, fuck na póilíní!

kneecap are wicked

sticking up the digits to the remnants of the dastardly british empire

and the ultra retrasados of the dup and their ilk

fighting against the systems ongoin antagonism and indifference

to maintain their language and culture

and the movie is a damn good craic!

Éire saor!

Muvaffakiyetsizleştiricileştiriveremeyebileceklerimizdenmişsinizcesine

... is the longest word in turkish

bosh!

'as if you were one of those whom we might not be able to render unsuccessful'

all aboard the seizureship!

v

theres something inordinately pleasing

seeing the same piece of wordplay used in unrelated places

(especially if its puerile)

word of the week - apocope

 

Apocope is the omission of one or more letters, sounds, or syllables from the end of a word

imaginez ça!

Exclusive safety hotline for CEOs...

funded by taxpayer dollars

when normal piss taking isnt enough for obscenely rich planet rapists

these filth are working on a dyson sphere sized urine extraction machine

You Do Something To Me

paul weller (né welder) is undoubtedly a leg-end

punk (and post) era heft with the jam

80s pop stardom with the style council

90s mainstream rebirth onwards as the 'modfather'

a solo elder statesman (with your grandmothers hair)

i would love to love pauls work

but it has never really grabbed me

in any of his meatifications

but this is a truly lovely tune

it does something to me

p.s ddrwg gennyf sue a rob

ve bitti!

güle güle kedi stili 2024...

 

papua merdeka!

indonesia has been illegally occupying west papua since the atrociously unironic The Act of Free Choice plebiscite of 1969, when the indonesian military chose 1025 men for the vote who were coerced into voting against independence with threats of violence against their persons and their families.

ever since, west papuans have been fighting for their independence and are regularly murdered by the indonesian military.

global gringo shitheads and their local lackey strayan shitheads have tacitly endorsed this ongoing violation of international law, to the extent that they train indonesian military who go on to commmit these crimes against humanity.

why would these 'democratic' shitheads do such appalling things?

west papua is home to massive natural resources and the shitheads mining companies are making obscene profits via their nations collusion with the occupier.

plus its always handy to keep such a populous (muslim) nation sweet when you are trying to dominate the world (and trying to fuck with china).

 

papua fucking merdeka!

whats the best kind of correct?

technically!

Limebeaver Is Cashing In On Christmas

I want to wake up on Christmas morning

With the snow all over the ground

With Bad News' Christmas single in my stocking

It only costs just over a pound...

thats right

thanks to the enormous numbers of completely legitimate non bot readers

(mostly from singapore)

limebeaver corp is making huuuuge xmas money from selling your data

to any old transnational corporate nasty

🎶we're bullshitting all the way to the bank!🎶

 

make unicity commonplace again!

 

UNIQUENESS is such a shit clunky word

it brings no pleasure during pronunciation...

compare it to the beauty below:

unicidad - lovely!

unicité - sweet!

unicità - divine!

and

UNICITY! - swoon!

use it in a text exchange today

doctor juvenal

doctor juvenal was a cool dude

he drove us all about the salaar de uyuni

with a big smile on his face

he didnt really speak english

and none of us spoke quechua

but his spanish was good

my average italian meant i could communicate a bit

so as usual the babel fish did the vast majority of the work

the quebecoise could also get by a bit

but the bogans up the back had no hope

he was funny too

he made an ongoing joke for days about about maggots big hair

saying 'pollo!, pollo! and giggling like a school kid

it took a while before my foetal stage monoglot brain got that he was referring to 

his hair being like a roosters comb...

poyo! poyo!

points at head

tick tick tick

poyo? poyo?

tick tick tick

ahhhhhh!

pollo!

bahahahhahha

pollo! pollo!

for a seeming eternity a line from a song came into my head

but i coudnt figure out what it was from

or even what the lyrics were

i just kept singing

doctor juvenal!

doctor juvenal!

and calling him doctor juvenal....

none the wiser as to who what why where when or whow

as it was in an age of scarce internet

just the odd internet cafe in big towns

or zero on the altiplano

it was only months later that it occurred to me...

death of a gentleman

or 

Q - is the death of a sporting tradition by rampant south asian capitalist arrogance worse/better than by rampant whitey capitalist arrogance?

A - no, its equally fucked

aquella vez cuando bender regresa a mexico

 

y un otro robot bender le llamo'...

BENDEJO!

fatal!

bajajajajaja

Orcas wear salmon as hats

orcas wear salmon as hats

dolphins get high on puffer fish

sawfish team up to fell kelp forests

lobsters make envelopes of flathead

crabs have been known to mock oysters 

octopodes dont believe in tuesdays

belugas have been trained for spy missions

southern scallops will deny having met harold holt

hammerheads hang with the nicest people

flying fish worry about bouncing bombs

seals can detect torpedoes

and

splash may not be based on a true story...

 

o pior livro de frases em inglês... de todos os tempos!

 

idiotisms and proverbs de fato!

faithful depiction of an english phrase after the book's style

¿la cucaracha no tiene... qué?

la cucaracha es una cancion espanol antigua

hay muchas versiones

pero la mas chida es una del periodo revolucionario mexicano

Esa versión, popular entre los soldados villistas, contiene significados políticos ocultos, como es común en las canciones revolucionarias. La cucaracha representa al presidente Victoriano Huerta, un borracho notorio que fue considerado un villano y traidor debido a su participación en la muerte del presidente revolucionario Francisco Madero.

ademas se trata de drogarse!

yet shes never been to oddbins...

fair play but disgusting grammar

word of the yeer - enshittification

 

👏👏👏

Are we the baddies?

mitchell and webb, hitting, head of nail

Want me to cut out this infernal racket?

 

notare bene - shit phone does not do justice to infernal racket

world of the weak - lalochezia

 

'the emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language'

fuck yes!

i pensieri inediti del micio

 ?aA=[-

ol 

2ZZ2Zyt

/7KL

LK*98////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

8/111YTTT00000000000000000\00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000/

lasciate perdere il lineare b e il manoscritto voynich!

ci vorrebbe una tonnellata di mega stele di rosetta per decifrarli...

el nacionalismo es absurdo

lo dice doug es la droga...

SAVE THE GREEN PLANET!

many heroes who saved the earth!

80s super man!

90s man in black!

what about in new millenium?

byung goo from korea!

a nerdy korean guy who believes himself some kind of super hero

who is trying to save the planet from aliens!

one in a mighty powerful position!

or is he just delusional?

unpredictable scrambles for the earth!

beyond imagination!

unique story!

you fucking wot?

word of the weak - kakistocracy

"government by the worst element of a society," analogy of its opposite, aristocracy, from Greek kakistos "worst," superlative of kakos "bad" (which perhaps is related to PIE root *kakka- "to defecate") + -cracy."

 how very timely

Bir Tawil: No Country For Any Men

coz nobody loves bir tawil

its true

nobody loves bir tawil

not like some rich western wannabe royals do...

l'option végétarienne

 

alors 

j'ai envie de quelque chose de leger et sain

donc

je prends une pizza basique

avec juste une pincee de charcuterie

et quelque charcuterie

et seulement un soupcon de charcuterie

mais pas de viande!

on n'est pas des fauves ici!

word of the weak - nescience

 

  'lack of knowledge or awareness, ignorance'

eg. will you check out the nescience on that prick.

Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives

tantalising thai trippiness

with ghosts at the table!

glowing eyed beings in the dark!

sweaty steamy jungledom!

a water monster goddess!

whacky christmas light like phenomena all about the night forest!

and an ailing uncle boonmee...

(NO) TODOS LO SABEN

pero no es verdad

no todos lo sabian

pocos los sabian

solo despues todos lo sabian

pero antes no!

con la luminosa cruz

y el carismatico bardem

y la hija

hay dos personajes menores pero notables

la (otra) wapa en casa 

y el tipo del bar

reconocible da la serie la casa de papel

que siempre tiene el aire de naco

en la espana provincial

con su encanto e idiosincrasias

los enlaces en comunidades pequenas

y las historias familiares

a veces felices

a veces complicadas

de todos modos el lenster, si, lo sabia, el siempre lo supo

see them gaily gad about...

san onofre nukelandia california, murica

if you go down on the i-5 today

youre sure of a big surprise

if you go down on the i-5 today

youd better go in disguise

because theres a giant concrete pair of tits!

*valid until 2028

Snowball fight earth

 

snowball fight earth was cool

in fact she was fucking cold

snowball fight earth was a long time ago

longer ago than jesus pots the white ball

snowball fight earth could have happened a few times

if she did indeed occur

snowball fight earth would have hurt like hell

if jupiter slung her at your head

snowball fight earth made for shit bbqs by the river

if you could find a river

snowball fight earth may have held supremacist views

as she was a product of her aeon

snowball fight earth displayed a distinct lack of emotions

but she maintained a warm heart

snowball fight earth is a hypothesis

as such she remains unsubstantiated

hollowly she whispers...

 

Why Peter Beardsley wasn't chosen for the World In Motion Rap...

what a spooky fucking doyle!

wakey wakey...

hands off (concerned looking) snakies

 

wouldnt want to bump into him in a dark alley in polonnaruwa seven hundred years back...

Io Capitano - Io Rimasto Male

merde allors!

un conte de deux jeunes amis senegalais qui sont entre des dizaines de milliers de gens sub sahariennes 

qui chaque annee essayent immigrer en europe 

en traversant la saraha 

(beaucoup entre eux mourent ne sortent jamais)

puis ceux qui ont survecu

tentent de traverser la mediteranee

dans les bateux souvent mal preparees

et a nouveau, beaucoup entre eux se noyent dans le processus

tout le temps, ils sont dependents aux trafiquants de merde

qui souvent les volent, violent, ou les vendre comme des esclaves

a n'importe qui ....

donc, c'est lourd mais c'est tres bien fait

word of the weak - jumentous

 

jumentous 

Of, relating to, or smelling like horse urine.

honestamente Brasil, não é você, sou eu

 

Olhando meu mapa de viagem, parece que estou evitando o Brasil.

mas nao e verdade!

de fato eu visitei uma vez, por um dia!

um dia irei direto para lá e resolverei meu português.

Eu desejo!

soloriffic no.1 - get me

you can always count on jay to go the biiiiig tearaway riff...

The 'C' Word o la bellissima sorpresa (da cazzo)

ma che sorpresa fighissima

prima ce la bellezza di avere un nuovo album da una banda che si segue da 35 anni

e che non hanno fatto niente da quasi venti anni

poi

ad ascoltarlo

sapendo che ce una canzone chiamato the c word

si pensa

bene bene, sarebbe qualche gioco di parole geniale con cunt

ma no!

il coro e in italiano!

e va -

'la parola c

cazzo cazzo cazzo

la vita e un cazzo'

quasi non ci credevo!

che regalone

mi sembrava fatto apposta per me

come i testi di masturbike di bad news

e la roba di masturbike/moto sega/chainsaw

quasi una codice privato 

solo per i pochissimi fans italofono di the comic strip presents

e in questo caso

certo ci saranno dei fans italofono di tism

ma non tantissimi

quindi, non ce solo una banda storica

che hanno fatto un disco nuovo

ed e fortissimo

(che spesso non e il caso)

ma di piu

ce una canzone

che e centrato su una parolaccia italiana! 

dunque

tutti insieme-

la parola c

...

glücklich, glücklich, freude, freude

 

ich will, was sie haben...

il y a quelq'un?

 

non? 

c'est meilleur comme ca

(pour tout le monde, litteralement)

Barbaren!

its kind of like the excellent period drama rome

but with more blonde hair

and less imposing architecture

there are still plenty of romans

getting their arses kicked in the dark, scary wald

und es ist schon!

wanna fight me mate? (over house price)

reporter - "have you done any special training for this fight?"

seller - "yes, more cigarettes..."

a batty brit wants more for his house

than the purchaser is willing to pay

what to do?

they organise a fight over it

whats not to like?

ps happy ending 

(no, not that kind)

after battering the seller, the massively larger and younger purchaser offers to split the difference

a banging remember me

sure its a cover

and most covers are pointless

with some notable exceptions

when the new artist adds something special

hellelujah by jeff buckley, all the along the watchtower by hendrix or hurt by johnny cash for egs

(and anything paul kelly turns his genius hand to)

even though i cant be arsed trying to keep up with all his tenthousiad output these days

many moons ago

hearing this as intro/outro music to the fitba

it really got its catchy hooks into me

(no fishies were harmed in the etc)

Living Robot Powered by Fungi

and we're doomed...

think i shall stick to le pizze quattro formaggi for the mo

Hwæt nu brūne cu?

Eddie secgð-

an leornere secgð-

nōt ā bǣd æfērt, Eddie...

so she said...

why the long face?

bangkok, oriental city

or is it?

no...

its official name is;

Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasi

try saying that after a few sabai sabais and stay fashionable!

satsuma samurai!

dig satsumas?

into samurai?

well...

you will loove the satsuma samurai!

get into japanese history of the 17th century

with all the fun and frolics of 

the tokugawa shogunate!

ming china!

and

all the satsuma samurai you can handle!

BANGING BEES

quem sabia que falavam português na ilha de wight?

marchando sin letras

Has nunca escuchado el himno nacional de espana?

esta .... okay

pero

las letras no son muy imaginativas

porque no hay!

varios han intentados de poner letras

por ejemplo, franco

(que sorpresa que un fascista quisiera hacerlo)

ahora pero oficialmente no se las usan

naturalmente

mucha gente en el gran extranjero no saben este hecho

que nos ha regalado unos momentos super chistosos

bwajajajaja!

Ortega cavó otro hoyo!

el $50bn (no) canal Nica continua a no occurir despues de siglos...

quizas en vez de un tirano ex rebelde y un empresario chino poco fiable

se necesita a dale!

maKedonia

@dennis.fang Replying to @peowpeowpeow22 Why I pronounce “Macedonia” with a “k”. #Macedonia #Macedon #AlexanderTheGreat #AncientGreece #History #AncientHistory ♬ original sound - Dennis

back in 1295 

i was sitting on the steps outside a hostel on a balmy athenian night

chatting away to some peeps and asking advice for cheap eats nearby

(with a random e who would change my world and a who wouldnt)

the american bloke mentioned a nearby restaurant, macedonia

and called it maKedonia

that sounded odd

and i thought

typical gringo tonto 

(osea unas palabras parecidas en ingles)

the correct pronunciation question has sat percolating in my brain

since that long distant time

but never near enough to the top to actually be arsed to find the answer

skip forward those 730 years

it occurred to me to ask my hellenic good mate

the estimable kýrios chickens

(a bit of portu/greco/frankish humour there)

and the gringo wasnt so tonto after all!

it is maKedonia!

gah!

lesson - dont count your chickens, but do ask them about greek pronunciation 

(and perhaps something re generalising about nationalities)

hibi bebe

 

Hello Bill, chernobyl

I feel ill, hospitil

...

Īe, soredewa arimasen!

earthquake!

tsunami!

nuclear power plant bang on the coast!

Sugoi kinchō-kan!

word of the weak - synecdoche

 

Using the name of a part for that of the whole or the whole for the part; or the special for the general or the general for the special.

(nb other cities are available Charlie)

The Unbearable Weight of Self Reference

whats this?

nicky wicky made a film that didnt suck?

yes its true!

its delightfully silly fun

with what have to be knowing references to his real life

its the first nicky film ive bothered to watch in a looong time

back in the in 1690s

he was in so many COOL films

snake eyes, leaving las las vegas, honeymoon in vegas, wild at heart

were all interesting/bleak/mental/funny with a healthy dash of COOL

even the action twattery of face off and con air

were good fun

and not TOO insulting to the viewers intelligence

then

he made a seemingly never ending torrent of utter shite...

(apparently he went broke investing in the south sea housing burbuja)

"Yes yes yes, it's a fantastic house, Nicholas. Now. Have you got any unshit films?"

welcome back nicky wicky

hope youve got your burbujas under control now...

Takes the biscuit

che 'l'attuale scopata'?

chi cazzo sono?

perche cazzo suonano in un negozio di abbigliamento?

perche cazzo cantano del cibo spazzatura?

e

chi se ne frega?

who says germans dont have a sense of humour?

A.D 88 - il n'y est plus

 

alain delon il ne se sent jamais seul

alain delon personne ne me connait...

vale et bon voyage dans la grande piscine au-delà bel homme