cori cancha?

 

the sumptuous temple of coricancha

didnt have anything to do with running

or the second person interrogative regarding such

 it was originally called the intikancha 

named after inti

the sun god (baby)

who probably could run damn fast

it stood in the inca capital of cuzco

and was the the most important building in the entire puta inca empire

aaaand 

it was built with lashings of gold

gold plated walls

golden statuettes

even planted gold grains

aint no bling like an incan thing!

but

shock upon sorpresa

the spanish wanker brigade showed up and destroyed it

coz...kulcha

and built the santo domingo convent on top of it.

because as we know

utter destruction isnt enuff

tambien hay que construir encima algo dedicado a tu amigo imaginario 

to shovel the (in) salt

directemente dentro la herida abierta

cuando estuve a un pelo de convertirme en un weon chileno mas ....

po!

حظا سعيدا أصدقائي!

words of advice for young people...

agog

pulchritude

furphy

assuage

meretricious

happy happy with nicky wicky

well that was an experience...

its a quality film

with nicky wicky cagey wagey when he was way cool

and was in edgy, interesting films

as opposed to now

when hes in a torrent of putrid, sticky shite

elizabeth shue was outrageously sexy

it looked beautiful

and it had some clever dark snickers

i saw it with my mate at the moofies

at my old fave cinema in toon

we were both rather down in the dumps 

(underfuckingstatement alert)

coz wed both been dumped in the recent past

we had heard that it was a bit grim

but being the heedless yoof we were

we thought seeing it would be hilarious in a black humour kind of way

we were fucking well wrong!

staring at you staring at me

no undies here tho

bahahahahahahaha...

 

ha!

frank black spent six months in puerto rico on exchange

but failed to learn spanish 

elvis costello went to a madrassa in islamabad

but was a zoroastrian

ray davies ran a canoeing business in botswana

but couldnt swim

buddy holly was a professional spectacled bear wrestler in ecuador

but was allergic to ursine fur

jerry harrison sold handmade jewellery on corfu

but thought kalemera was a type of olive

kim gordon crossed the south atlantic in a balloon

but was afraid of heights

tom waits spent a financial quarter as a hermit on top of a pole in sudan

but kept yelling at stray dogs

karen o crossed the gobi desert barefoot

without once meeting a person called khan

jarvis cocker went looking for el dorado in the amazon

but only found el bronceado

peter buck descended to the bottom of the mariana trench in a bathyscaphe

but demanded it turn back half way because he forgot his water wings

mick ronson climbed the north face of mount everest

but still insisted that lhasa was a beverage

steve mack would rather sail the ocean

than make a big decision

acabo de pasar para ver en que condicion estaba mi condicion

 

en una visita a baja california

despues de unas paradas en rosarito y ensenada

llegamos a coyote cals

en erindera

en hostal hecho por gringos para gringos

(o es el opuesto?)

pero era todo nuevo

apenas abierto

asi estuvimos solos con el jefe

el dia que llegamos

este gringo jefe recibio una entrega de un ladrillo de maria

y se le nos ofrecio a participar

con su gigante bong

asi fumamos

y tomamos cervezas

y jugamos a pool

con un empleado local que no hablaba para nada el ingles

y no habliamos ni una palabra de espanol

incluso sin decir nada, hemos cambiado las reglas entre partidos

desde aquellas gringas hasta las australianas

quien sabe que penso el pobrecito!

despues de mas cervezas

y mas pegas del bongazo

nos sentamos para ver una peli cheverisima

y psicodelica

el grande lebowski

(que es ahora un de mis pelis preferidas)

con una pantalla enorme y sonido surround

al empiezo estuvo genial

pero para mi pobre cerebro drogado

era demasiado

muuuuuuuuucho demasiado

mano...

pues

despues de un ratito

quizas 10 minutos

o quizas una hora

(el tiempo se movia de manieras misteriosas)

en tratando de disfrutar

o almenos aguantar la peli

tuve que regresar a mi cama

y subir la escalera era muuuy complicada!

donde me quede por horas

con mi mente 

zumbando a mil millas por segundo

demasiado jodido para mudarme

no mames...

lonesome are the words...

prestidigitation

winsome

pettifog

fungible

jeroboam

heavy shag

 

tutte le persone, cosi tante persone...

poi

finalmente sono uscito di casa

dopo sei mesi di incarcerazione

sono andato fino al parco

(in fondo della mia strada)

non era una giornata splendida

c'erano abbastanza nuvole

e un vento vivace

cosi ci sono stato per non molto piu di mezz'ora

e non ho letto molto del mio libro

che si tratta della vita nella citta dei djinns

e la mascarina mi rompeva le palle

facendo innebbiare i lenti del sole

pero ci sono arrivato

e ho visto la gente che facevano il footing

girare... e girare...

ahh, jesteś po prostu słony

lub, jak śpiewali sneaker pimps;

Weź mnie w dół,

sześć pod ziemią, ziemia pod twoimi stopami...

Y esas palabras son: Cómo me gustan!

jocund

eschew

isthmus

quiescence

parse

 

que brujaja...

 

de jovencito

despues del dia escolastico fatigoso 

regresando a casa

yo miraba siempre la tv

miraba muchas tonterias

pero ya me enamore de dos chicas

dos rubias guapas, gringas y magicas

genie y samantha

que ya eran abuelas viejitas en la vida real

pero

ya se notaba un modelo particular en mis gustos

esa vieja castaña...

la historia completa de la humanidad en ocho imagenes

 

solo (o quasi), tra le 'galline'

anche prima dell'estate di 2003 mi sono innamorato della isola gallinara

gia qualche volto l'avevo visto dal treno sulla costa azzurra ponente

una bella isoletta appena di 'la' dalla costa

a 1.5 km cosi vicino ma staccato

ma quando abbiamo fatto camping ad albenga 

subito davanti 

se lo poteva vedere dalla tenda!

ho deciso che un giorno lo comprarei

avevo proggettato tutto

ormeggerei mi barca a vela nella piccola marina

accanto al motoscafo 

ovviamente

poi abiterei nel castellino

con il mio harem

(che anche fuzionarebbe come staff)

ci mettrei una piscina

(non troppo grande, non esageriamo)

avrei fatto scavare un tunnel segreto tra l'isola e un punto segreto sulla costa

forse avrei dovuto comprare una casa vicino al mare anche da quella parte

come uscita segreta

e poi in fino avrei installato un trenini per fare piu facile il percorso

cosi quando mi annoiavo delle fighe sulla isola

sarei potuto andare a passare i bei pomeriggi sul lungomare del paesino

a giocare le carte, le bocce, mangiare un bel gelato e sparare cazzate con i vecchi

spot the twat #3 - bolsonaro; un filho da mãe monte de merda

Outrageous Quotes That Prove Jair Bolsonaro is a Threat to Brazil's Democracy

Bolsonaro, Brazil’s president since 2019, has a long history of embracing torture and making violent comments against vulnerable groups.

Flirting with Brazil’s Dictatorship (1964 – 1985)

1. In a 1999 televised interview, he said: “I am in favor of torture, you know that, and the people are in favor too. Through the vote, you will not change anything in this country. Anything! Absolutely nothing! Things will change, unfortunately, the day we start a civil war in here. And doing the work that the military regime did not do, killing about 30,000! Some innocent will die, it’s OK.”

 

2. In 2016, he dedicated his vote in favor of impeaching democratically-elected President Dilma Rousseff to Colonel Carlos Brilhante, who ran the detention center where Dilma was tortured in her youth. “In memory of Carlos Alberto Brilhante Ustra, the terror of Dilma Rousseff,” he said prior to casting his vote.

Promoting Homophobia 

3.In a 2011 interview with Playboy, he said: “I would be incapable of loving a homosexual child. I’d rather have a son of mine die in an accident than appear with a mustache next to him.”

4.He also endorsed physical punishment to “cure” homosexuality in 2010, during a TV debate on a law to punish physical punishment against children.

“Yeah, I think there’s the spanking for that. Just as you change a boy’s aggressive behavior, you need a spanking, a whipping to be able to change the somewhat delicate behavior for a man.”

This is particularly dangerous in a country where one member of the LGBTI community is murdered every two days due to rampant homophobia.

Misogyny: Joking About Rape and Endorsing Workplace Discrimination 

5.“I wouldn’t rape you because you do not deserve it,” Bolsonaro told Workers’ Party legislator Maria do Rosario in December 2014. In an attempt to explain the phrase, he said: “She does not deserve to be raped because she is very bad, because she is very ugly.”

 

6. In 2015, Bolsanoro argued “women should earn less because they get pregnant. When she returns [from maternity leave], she will have another month’s vacation, meaning she worked five months that year. ”

Against Brazil’s Poor, Black and Indigenous People

7. In 2003, during a radio interview, he said: “It’s not that a person who can read and write is free of marginality. We have to adopt urgently, yes, against all and against everyone, especially human rights defenders, a strict birth control policy. Enough of giving the means for more and more couples to bring people who don’t have the minimum condition to be a citizen in the future.”

 

8.In a public event in 2017, flanked by a Brazilian and an Israeli flag, Bolsonaro said: “I went to a Quilombo (territory inhabited by Afro-Brazilian descendants of escaped slaves). The lightest Afro-descendant weighed seven arrobas (around 225 pounds). They do nothing. I think they don’t even serve to procreate. Over US$245 million is spent on them every year. … There will be not one centimeter for an Indigenous reserve or for a Quilombola.”

from humanwrongswatch

e há muitos, muitos mais ...

To a blind man, pawn shop and porn shop are one...

a pawwwwwn shop

v's

a pooooooorrrrrrrrn shop

c'era una volta

in the before times

on a jaunt to the west coast of eeuueeuueeuu

we were based in lovely mission beach

just north of san diego

at the place a charming young lady called aige

who was the friend of an ex of a friend of a parrots former owner

it was enormous fun

she was a uni student at usd! usd!

and her place was only 50 metres from the bleach

aige was a wonderful host

smart, sexy and very cool

causing much besmittenment from all parts

she took us all over san diego

and showed us a fab old time with her uni mates

we went to a sublime mexican restaurant in la joya

where we ate gorgeous food for free

coz it belonged to her friends family

we went to usd! usd! where we used the internet GASP!,  played tennis and even sat in on a sociology lecture

but mostly goggled at how we seemed on the set of  a million shit 80's hollywood college films

we went on the russian mountain on the pier

we went to the top gun restaurant

we went to a britpop nightclub for my birthday

we went to the local pub where you couldnt smoke inside GASP!

we even went to a couple of uni parties

which were full of beautiful, young and highly dense types

one evening back at her pad

over yet more weak as piss beer

we were talking about how we needed to buy a  travel clock

for our upcoming adventure south of the border

so i asked aige if she knew of any pawn shops

after falling down laughing

she sought to explain the difference between a pawn shop and a porn shop

we said

of course we know the difference

a pawn shop sells second hand goods people let go of for money

a porn shops sells saucy movies, lube, enormous black dildos called thundering roger etc

she could but weep whilst rolling on the floor giggling like a mad woman

it seemed our way of pronouncing these two words was the funniest thing that had ever happened in mission beach

silly tourists cant talk proper!

so like a good teacher

she sat us down and gave us elocution lessons

on the correct way of pronouncing these words

making us pronounce them over and over

at which point we fell to the floor laughing

crazy gringa cant talk proper!

the following day 

determined to ram home her point she insisted on taking us on a day trip 

to sample the varying delights of the local pawn shop 

followed by the dizzying array of filth at the local porn shop

it was astonishing that we made we were not all wiped out in a car crash

considering the combined amount of floor (or is it flaw?) time spent in alfonse that morning...

As we enter the eleventh month...

 I find covids attention seeking pandemic based twattery even more annoying than months one to ten...

 

why the 70's were bad part.354

 FOR FUCKS SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!

Shigir pop ídolo

The shigir pop idolo is the oldest known bit of stick sculpture in the woooooorld, made during the mesohorny period, shortly after the end of the last installment of the childrens animated film series, daffy ducks ice age of impure loving. (DDIAIL)

The wood it was carved from is approximately 11,500 years old.  The main fragments used to reconstitute the sculpture reach 2.8 m (2542 nanohoofs) but reconstruction suggests that the original height of the statue was 5.3 m.(12.3 mastodon giblets)

it was found buried (with a stash of 9570s bce porn) near the ural mountains in present day ra ra russsssssssssssssssssia.

It is unknown whether stretched scrotum faced putain has ever posed semi nude atop it, but history and probability suggest it is inevitable.

coolest of all, (eeee)scholars noted that the Idol's groovacious patterns are similar to that of the oldest known monumental stone ruins, at fucking gobleki tepe in turkey!

piss the bed

 

cette plante s'appelle,,,

piss(e)en lit

Pisser, en, lit. On appelle la plante pissenlit, parce que l'eau dans laquelle on en fait bouillir les feuilles est diurétique.

c'est bien drole hein?

bbc pidgin is da bomba

 https://www.bbc.com/pidgin

a pior pizza de todos os tempos!

a pior pizza do mundo foi um lixo que eu comi em foz do iguacu, brasil

estávamos lá (sem visto! clandestinos!) em uma viagem de um dia saindo da argentina para ver as cataratas do outro lado

embora estivéssemos com um orçamento apertado porque éramos mochileiros

e foi uma oferta dois por um, por quarenta e cinco reais (mais ou menos)

mas ainda não valeu a pena!

lembre-se que eu morava na Itália na época, então eu conhecia uma boa pizza

depois de comer o primeiro, sem prazer

era hora de pegar o ônibus de volta para a fronteira

clandestinos! gah!

então eu dei para um sem-teto

que não entendeu uma palavra que eu disse

(mas eu ainda me sentia um pouco culpado, porque era tão ruim)

(obrigado ao google tradutor)

che cazzo ha luigi?

norge i et nøtteskall

et spektakulært landskap som virkelig er verdt det! 🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴🇳🇴

parole, parole, parole.. soltanto parole

homunculus

avuncular

zeitgeist

reliquary

orrery

legally george

 

it was only after being lost in the wilds of alton towers for 17 harrowing hours

did george finally admit he wasnt a natural blonde...

i think i dropped something a few cubits back...

not terribly long ago in this quarantine existence

at least in the last trimestre or so

i was cruising the mean streets of democratically elected peoples representative butte

in my zupped up white yellow ford cambria with flames up the side

looking slick

and feeling slicklier

i must have felt a bit peckish 

so i got stuck into something zesty

and

as you do when eating behind the wheel

it was with more enthusiasm than efficacy

and i must have dropped some piquant old lunch during the scarfing

(and boy does it pique)

and now every time i slide into the saddle

duchi of azzardo style

it wafts back  to remind me

just how flavoursome it was...

i really should quit stopping and smelling the scorreggi

Sláinte!

it is the humour...

 

five alive!

bras etcetera

ooft!

sick!

stop saying labyrinthine

beansy!

get over it!

it has pulled the shoes out from under my hat

its both amazing and great

put.. the ritter sport.. back

grazie and a chomp

alienos P.K, o totalmente borrachos?

antes de ir a la maravillosa hindustania

yo vi muchas documentales y pelis sobre el pais

sobre su historia (que es larghisima!)

las religiones del lugar (que son muchas)

la politica (que se tostaria la cabeza y es muy deprimente)

y mas

y mi amiga super genial shradha 

que es una desi pura

me recomendio muchas

y muchas con el grande star aamir khan

una de las que vi se llama pk

como el chicle

y apparentmente pk significa achispado

bueno

en pk

nuestra protaginista es un alieno

y el llega a la tierra en una enorme astronave

pero lo raro es que llega en la parte del a tierra equivocado!

se llega en india!!!

shock!

asombro!

y sobretodo...

etc! 

yo crei que todos los astronaves llegaran en gringolandia!!!

o en la mitad de nada donde hubo solo un gring-cretino boracho

o directemente encima de la casa blanca

deberia de haber estado un error cataclisimica

como es possible que una civilizacion tan avanzada

no tuvieron un tipo de gps 

si llegan desde otra galaxia!

obviamente era una falta tecnica enorme

quizas tuvo plazo una explosion desmesurada en el ovni

y estes alienos se perdieron la ruta

o puedeser que tomaban demasiado de aguardiente espacial!

si no

como se puede explicar este situacion geografica ridicula?!!

porque sabemos que TOOODDDOOOOS las astronaves saben dirigirse 

directemente a donde se debe

a fucking gringolandia

por supuesto!

le premier jour a tanger... que bien!

sur mon premier jour a la splendide ville de tanger, je suis sorti de chez mon genial ami ismail pour chercher de la bouffe

je n'avais du tout confiance de ma abilite en francais

mais j'etais la pour la practiquer

donc, depit mes peurs il etait temps de la faire!

alors je suis sorti dans la rue principale chez lui dans le quartier de maison de tunisie

je suis entre timidement dans un cafe, et j'ai demande

vous parlez francais? non

do you speak english? no

gah! quoi faire?

apres quelque moments de silence confus je me suis echappe avec honte!

alors, je suis marche a la long de la rue et apres une respiration profonde

je suis entre dans un boulangerie

vous parlez francas? non

do you speak speak english? no

deux fois gah! putain!

apres moins moments de silence confus que la premier fois, je me suis echape avec plus honte encore!

alors avec ma confiance dechiree

je suis continue sur la rue

enfin, je suis entre dans un kiosk

j'ai adresse le proprietaire

parlez vous francais? non

do you speak english? no

gah! quel trauma!

donc nous etions la, nous deux dans le meme malaise qu'avant

enfin le type m'a dit

hablas espanol?

despues de unos segundos y palabras confundidos para que mi cerebro cambie marcha

aja!

genial!

ohhh que felicidad mis panas!

que alegria!

asi me explico en muy bien espanol

que, historicamente, la costa norte era colonizado por los espanoles

y aun hay dos pueblos espanoles no tan lejanos

y siendo tan proximo a espana, 17 kms

(que se puede escuchar al radio espanol como me mostro ismail)

asi, por mucha gente alla,  el idioma segundo era el espanol!

y me quede alli por un rato hablanda en espanol 

con una sonrisa enorme

con este senor que me contaba su vida 

como vivio por anos en espana y cuanto le encanta el idioma

como su sobrino aun vive en madrid 

etc etc

y me quede super bien

unos minutos antes mi confianza (y no solo aquella linguistica) era en pedacitos

y ahora charlaba con este senor simpatico 

que me complimento por mi espanol barbaro!

y me senti de nuevo el campeon de las lenguas

y que iba a perfeccionar el frances con una facilidad obscena

it's official, it's a disaster state!

so the piggies are out in force and working for the ...

العمىالعمىالعمى!

القرف المقدس! هذا كثير من الحب مثل semtex!

2016 austrian word of the year! (your fave austrian word of the year)

"Bundespräsidentenstichwahlwiederholungsverschiebung" was chosen as Austria's Word of the Year 2016 by academics. Roughly translated to “Federal-President-runoff-vote-repeat-postponement”, the word gained recognition during the lengthy presidential election in 2016.

rolls right off the zunge innit?

sundaland til i die, glu glu glu...

The tv series, sundaland til i die highlights the unfailing passion the Sundaland residents had for their beloved football club, taking viewers through the highs and lows of SUFC's 12000BCE- 11999BCE season in the Sinking Feeling Inc. Continental Championship following its relegation the previous year from the prestigious Continental LiGah.

The Continental LiGah was eventually tortuously formed (football politics hey?) as a breakaway league following the achingly glacial demise of the pan-pan-pangea league in 175000000BCE due to irreconcilable subduction.  With the early favourites being atlantis afc, but they were disqualified after an epochal series of no shows. nevertheless their marketing department claims to this day that they were 'simply ahead of the tide'.

For more than 2.5 million years, the rabid fans of sundaland ufc obsessively followed their team during its vicissitudes on the higher shores of intercontinental competition.

With their comedy accents and undying love for their team of fans across the ancient landmass, their team fought mightily against such worthy opponents as beringia fc, doggerland fc and their perennially rubbish neighbours, sahul wtfc. until they got that sinking feeling...